Yeh ishq nahi aasaan bas itna hi samajh leeje, Ek aag ka darya hai aur doob ke jaana hai
This wellknown couplet somehow sums up the need for love in one’s life. Companionship has been the perennial desire for man. But one needs to welcome joys and sorrows alike, which come as a package deal. Defining love is a task which perhaps no one has been able to accomplish since time immemorial. But yes, the feeling is sublime and like they say – you need to be in it – to feel it.
Has love or the feeling of love itself undergone a change with the changing times? Perhaps the romanticism of the eras gone by remains confined to the sonnets and the ballads. Poets still pen odes to love but yes, the real picture is changing, for sure.
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So there are people falling in love- left, right and centre. Yes falling, some realising what they are jumping into, and some after they land into it. If there are relationships, problems can not be far behind. Adjustments, egos, misunderstandings, misgivings, become a part and parcel of a relationship. Those who can stem these, those who can tackle them, seem to meet success at the end of the day.
Love Guru has been on the radio scene for five years. It has been a one stop platform for people to narrate and perhaps find solutions to their emotional issues. The spectrum of problems which the listener has shared with this unknown mystery host, somewhere gives one an insight into what love means and what it is for the people. For one, it affects all ages- starting from the time nature makes one come face to face with your sexuality and the attraction which comes along with it. It is a hidden desire and at times, not so hidden for everyone to experience what exactly is love?
At times, it’s the sight of one’s peers whispering sweet nothings, or just basically the sight of a couple in love, that kindles the spark to experience what others are. Romance on screen also is a trigger to emulate it in real life. But one cannot deny the natural physiological chemistries also playing an active role.
With changing times and lifestyle, Love also seems to have undergone a sea change. The very feeling, the very experience and above all the flavour of love has been altered along with lifestyles.
In metros, with the back breaking speed of life, Love appears to have taken a back seat. Yes, people do get into relationships. Yet, the time spent together, the time to bond, the time to evolve in a relationship is quite limited, what with the hectic schedules and the quest to achieve other goals in life. This brings acrimony, insecurity, suspicion and then the craving to bring things on track. Relationships on the brink of disaster can be salvaged by a joint effort and by realising that they are as important as your other responsibilities in life.
The teenage years are a landmark phase of one’s life for love and heartbreaks alike. One, we fall in so called â€?love’, unaware of what it actually is. More often than not, it’s infatuation, attraction and there is no attempt to really understand. And then when the relationship does not work, the world around comes crashing down like a pack of cards. The remedy is to go slow, take each day and moment as it comes. Keep your emotions in check. Commit when you really know what commitment means and just take it easy.
Office romances come next – the workplace also allows a fertile ground for romance to bloom. You work shoulder to shoulder, you work as a team, you bump into each other day in and day out. Some sparks are bound to fly and eventually ignite the flames of romance. But then the mingling of personal life with work, sometimes leads to a derailment of your productivity. Keeping office romance outside the boundaries of your work place is the key to a lasting relationship.
A very important aspect which sometimes is difficult to realise after one spends a few years in a relationship is the monotony which sets in. Though it is subjective, it causes rifts and misunderstandings. With the passage of time, the expression of love also changes. One need not say those three magic words a hundred times a day. One can make his/her partner feel special and wanted and keep the romance alive in long standing relationships specially marriage. A husband coming home early to lend a helping hand in the household work can say it without words – that he loves his wife. A hot cup of tea from the wife at the end of a tiring day says I love you though not exactly spelt out. Simple gestures, simple day to day activities are also a subtle way of expressing love. The intensity remains the same yet the expression changes.
But yes, love rules the world. It’s just that perhaps we need to revisit it, rediscover the tenderness, reignite the passions and keep the flame burning, come what may!
Write in to Radio City 91.1 FM’s Love Guru at love@myradiocity.com
